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77 ways to enjoy your time alone – and the one for today

77 ways to enjoy your time aloneRecently, after I boldly wrote “There are thousands of ways in which we can find and connect with others, if and when so inspired“, a dear subscriber asked me to be more specific and share some of those ways. Fair enough! and it started something… First I decided – because I believe it to be true – that it might be more relevant to start with thousands of ways in which we can find and connect with ourselves. Because, as I see it…

If you’re not feeling free and joyful on your own, you will not be completely comfortable connecting with others either.

Whatever challenges we have in our relationship with ourselves (and we all do have some, don’t we?) are being reflected in our relationships with others. Which by the way is a fantastic opportunity to learn more about yourself and transform your life. For now, I started writing up a list of if not thousands then at least 77 joyful ways to be alone

(I intend to continue with ways of joyful ways of connecting with others in the future so stay tuned). But then, no matter how many items there are on that list, a list is not quite enough! In fact…

I’m not a big fan of lists like these

“100 ways to be happy”, “100 ways to be present”…. What do you even do with those lists? Read them from start to finish and apply in that order? Check if you tried it all and are still happy, or not? Spend hour deciding which one to pick and when? Here’s what I do believe (about lists too :-)):

One is enough!

What if you had just one way of connecting with yourself, just one way of opening to joy, today?  Guess what: I have that one way for you below – and it’s a magical one! The magic is that the one suggestion you will see there is dynamic. In other words, what you will see there is not the same as what someone else will see there. In fact, when you come back here another day and re-open and refresh the page you won’t see the same thing there either. The script behind this is called a randomizer. The thinking and the experience behind it is that…

Random is not random

I’d go as far as to say that one of the best ways to choose one option among many others is to pick it randomly. I’ve seen this proven hundreds if not thousands of times over the course of 30+ years: When I have a rather large collections of items, choosing a random one provides me with what I need exactly at that moment. And it’s not just me, of course: Most people have experienced how seemingly random things happen in ways that are clearly so not random, so spot on that we give them a different name, namely synchronicities. And that’s just those that we notice. What we don’t notice and are not aware of (simply because we don’t see the bigger picture) is what leads us there, including what we see as random or insignificant events. We cannot see or comprehend the life force that is supporting us behind the scenes and creating a special journey just for us. A journey that sometimes is challenging beyond imagination, sometimes joyful beyond expectation and, as most people express at the end of their lives, deeply rewarding and meaningful. But I digress (or maybe not?). What I’d like to offer to you today is not just a list of ways to be alone but just as much an invitation to

Give yourself this experience today

Think of at least 7 questions that you’d love someone would ask you. Record or write an interview with yourself using these questions.Tweet
I hope you immediately resonate with the suggestion you see above. If not, ask yourself if it’s worth giving it a try anyhow. What if the above is an opportunity to stretch your comfort zone, exactly the way you need? Would you be willing to try something new, or try something old in a new way? This being said, if it’s totally not your thing, don’t worry! Either refresh this page to see if a more suitable suggestion comes through or look below (or download the entire list here

 ), take your time and choose something you prefer:

The list so far

  1. Sing your feelings. Sing your thoughts. Sing your way through the day.
  2. Find or prepare a beautiful space for meditation. Then spend 30 minutes or more there, either in meditation or just being there with yourself.
  3. Take time to arrange a beautiful table for your next meal. Even if you’re just going to have an apple. Savor it.
  4. Explore the are you live in as if you were a tourist.
  5. What place would you love to travel? Research as much as you can about it, including video on YouTube.
  6. Write whatever you feel like writing. A poem, a page in your journal, a story…
  7. Spend time in nature. Walk, run, rest… Be there for yourself.
  8. Dedicate this day to your breath. Allow yourself to breathe as deeply and as slowly as you like.
  9. Take pictures of your usual surroundings from unusual angles
  10. Write a love letter to yourself. Send it to yourself so that you receive it tomorrow. Send it by snail mail (recommended) or via email at
  11. Get off the grid today. Shut downthe computer and the phone. Perhaps the TV too?
  12. Try different kinds of music, even some you wouldn’t usually dance to.
  13. Create a beautiful space for massage. Massage your feet or your entire body, with love and care. Enjoy.
  14. Go toa place nearby that you never visited before.
  15. Choose an object that you will give some extra loving attention today. It could be a tree or your face in the mirror or a book or…
  16. Sit in a café and observe some of the people there. Make up stories about them. Write these stories down.
  17. Take a look at the place you live. Do at least one thing that will make it more beautiful, pleasant and inspiring to live there.
  18. For a whole day, just go with your flow. Do whatever you feel like doing. If you don’t feel like doing anything then don’t do anything.
  19. What could be the nicest thing you could do for yourself? Do it today.
  20. Think of something that you always wanted to learn. Then take the first step to learn it.
  21. Go out and find something thatwould make a wonderful gift for yourself. Prepare it so that you can give it to yourself tomorrow.
  22. Celebrate yourself as if it was your birthday
  23. Break a habit. It could be as simple as the route you take when you go shopping.
  24. Find something to be grateful for throughout the day. Thank yourself for experiencing it.
  25. Create a peaceful space for meditation. Sit there for a few minutes. Place your hands on your heart and ask yourself “What does my heart want me to do or be today?”.
  26. Start reading the book that you wanted to read for a long time
  27. Bring playfulness into everything you do, including work.
  28. Think of your relationship with yourself. Is there anything there that you don’t like? Spend the day making peace with that part of you.
  29. Allow yourself to smile all throughout the day. Yes, when you’re alone too.
  30. Say nice things to yourself.
  31. If you were on holiday what would you do now? Then do it.
  32. Make the day as joyful as you possibly can
  33. What does loving yourself mean, to you? Spend your day in that spirit.
  34. Leave a gift for a random stranger to find in a public place.
  35. Hide notes of love and encouragement in your coat pocket, shoes and other places. Then forget all about them.
  36. Beautify a neglected spot in your neighborhood.
  37. Create a daily ritual where you remind yourself to love yourself and to take great care of yourself
  38. Write your “Bucket List”, a list of all the things you want to do with your life. Pick one item there and take the next step towards making it a reality today.
  39. Think of something you fear. Find a gentle way or practice that will help you overcome the fear.
  40. Visit an art gallery or a museum
  41. Explore your home with your eyes closed.
  42. Today, spend as much time as you can naked or almost naked.
  43. Be a playful animal
  44. Think of at least 7 questions that you’d love someone would ask you. Record or write an interview with yourself using these questions.
  45. Allow yourself to be lazy for the entire day
  46. If you’re right-handed, use your left hand today, if you’re left-handed, use the right one.
  47. Have a wonderful, relaxing bath. Then lotion up your body. Make it a celebration.
  48. Write a poem
  49. Buy yourself flowers. Ask that they’re wrapped beautifully (just like you would do if they were for someone else).
  50. Rearrange a room
  51. Take the train somewhere.
  52. Create a new meaning for “happy hour”. Then have it.
  53. Declare yourself your guru. Listen to your guru’s advice all day.
  54. Rest
  55. Give yourself a reward for being you.
  56. Whatever it is, put down that burden
  57. Find something that will make you laugh
  58. Be your best friend
  59. Give your thoughts a break. Whenever you become aware of a lot of thinking going on, smile.
  60. Find out what are the 20% (or less) of your life that bring you 80% (or more) joy and Make those 20% your top priority.
  61. Take mini-breaks throughout the day.
  62. Spend the daythe way a 6-year old would like it
  63. Write an inspirational story of why you were born
  64. Wherever you spend the day, find on your favorite color(s)
  65. Give yourself permission (to whatever you need it for)
  66. Celebrate your imperfection
  67. Do at least one thing to eliminate those drains.
  68. Choose a pleasurable/inspiring activity that you will focus on all day
  69. Today, let things take the time they take
  70. Have a movie marathon. In between movies, go for a walk.
  71. Find a restaurant where you’d really love to have a meal. Have it there today or take the steps necessary to have it there another day.
  72. Toss out clothes that you don’t really like. Replace them with one new piece of wardrobe that makes you smile with delight.
  73. Go to a coffee shop or a park and stay there for a long time. Read a book, or just relax.
  74. Enjoy your favorite food in a new way. In bed, eating only with your fingers, dancing – whatever feels like fun.
  75. Listen to relaxing music or to silence, whichever you enjoy the most.
  76. If you normally go casual, go dressy for a day. And the other way round.
  77. Watch the sunset and then the sunrise the next day. Or the other way round.

Download the entire list here

Let’s grow it together

I might be adding more wonderful ways to be alone along the way – and so could you! If you have another great idea for spending time alone, please email it to me here. Thank you! Also, as always, please share your thoughts, experiences and this inspiration with friends, in the communities you’re part of, on social media as well as in comments below. Someone out there will be glad you did! Thank you!

2 comments… add one
  • Herbie Neely April 10, 2017, 12:44 am

    Dear Halina,

    I am male and married, but have found such joy from your work already. My parents both died in the past couple of years, Dad of Alzheimers and Mom of obesity. My best friend, only a few years lder than me, passed away in November. I have Asperger’s and he was my only real adult friend. My wife loves me, but from a distance. Hugs and warm touch are few and far between. I believe she truly loves me in her own way, but I am VERY lonely and often depressed. I found your articlr by a google search “find your meaning in life”. I saw it yesterday and looked for the author today, which is how I found your website. #28 is the suggestion that was presented, and I am sitting here, crying, trying to make peace with the parts of myself that I despise – obesity and the related health problems of overeating.
    Thank you for your wise instruction to start caring for myself as the first step. I truly had lost my way. Humbly yours, Herbie Neely

    • Halina April 10, 2017, 11:08 am

      Dear Herbie,

      I’m so glad that you’re finding this site helpful in the midst of these huge challenges. Thank you for taking the time to letting me know that! I very much appreciate your openness, your willingness to address the pain and your sharing.

      And yes, absolutely, this place is for anyone who finds it supportive, regardless of gender, relationships status etc etc.
      You’re definitely not the only married man here.

      By the way, are you familiar with Web Of Loneliness? There is an active community there, where you can chat with others in a similar situation and hopefully find some new connections and peer support.

      Meanwhile I will be sharing more here and through the newsletter.

      Wishing you all the best!

      Warm greetings,

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