I met Carna Zacharias-Miller online, many years ago, and our paths have crossed a few times since. We have some unusual life circumstances in common, but more importantly perhaps, an approach towards life. And now Carna has published a book that feels as if it has been written especially for Solo Souls: THE SACRED QUEST FOR LOVE: Book 1: The Way of The Ugly Duckling
Here’s how it starts: “Every soul on this earth is yearning for love.” Can you relate?
Now, I don’t know how about you, but through the decades where that yearning colored my life (dark colors with occasional glimpses of gold), I wasn’t exactly proud of feeling that way. Rather, I felt deprived. I felt heart-broken. I felt chronically lonely. I wish someone told me back then, what Carna is saying here:
“This quest is sacred”. It is a shattering truth. Or should be. It reminds you that no matter how hard the journey, no matter how alone you feel, you are not a beggar for love nor a victim of lovelessness. You are not a lost soul. On the contrary.
You are a hero on a sacred quest.
I never thought of myself this way, and my guess is that you haven’t either. But looking back and looking around it makes perfect sense to me. It rings true. So: Are you willing to approach your journey through life as a sacred quest for love?
Doesn’t it make you feel differently? And not just different… Feeling different is an essential part of the Solo Soul experience. Perhaps because: “We have been abandoned, rejected, or neglected when we were most vulnerable, and it broke our hearts. Sometimes the sorrow and grief happened later in life, for example after a divorce, the death of a close family member , or because we never found the kind of love for which we have been searching. And so this never-ending roaming, meandering and reaching out in order to find love evolves into a quest.”
Do you identify with the lonely swan growing up among ducks, the misunderstood and misplaced ugly duckling?
“I wonder why there are so many people who don’t question a single thing. They never ask where they came from, what the hell they are doing here or why they even exist. Of course, those are the ducks. They are the majority. They are the mainstream.” That’s the swan in you, wondering. But then, it can go the other way round as well. When surrounded by utterly beautiful, happily coupled white swans you may feel like a duck.
Either way, it looks like you don’t belong. “The intense urge to belong is one of the most powerful drives we can experience in this life.” That urge can be experienced in all kinds of ways. We want to belong to a family, a workplace, the local community, a tribe of like-minded people, and ultimately, the world.
Why don’t we belong? (until we do)
The answer that you see below can feel lofty and remote. But it’s not. Carna Zacharias-Miller’s book takes us into a deeper understanding of The Way Of The Ugly Duckling on many levels – through examples from her work with clients, through the symbolism of the adventure and through her spiritual experience.
It all translates into something very specific, a key that you can use to open the door that you may have been knocking on your entire life. “We are all homesick for a place that our soul remembers”. “The point of the whole journey is to reach at-one-ment, to be at one with all that is, to find the right place in the cosmic order.”
When you find that feeling of oneness everything else falls into place as well. As you change, your life changes. The experience of simple, human feelings of love, contentment, meaning and joy becomes a daily reality. As you change, your world changes as well. You discover that every human being is a unique swan, just like you. You are home.
How does your life resemble The Way Of The Ugly Duckling?