We’ve all visited this special place where love had no conditions. Where there was nothing you needed or wanted for yourself because you were already fulfilled by the mere presence of love. Where there was no judgement, and no desire to change the other. There was just this dedication to love them and to be the best you can be, for them.
You saw them clearly: the beauty of their spirit as much as their unique human imperfection, the light and the dark and all the colors in between. And you loved it all.
When you’re in that kind of completely selfless space, loving is easy. You are at peace and all is well.
But then there are these other days.
When your heart breaks and your body aches. When you feel alone and un-loved. And you ask yourself: “Why? Why am I not loved by anyone the way I can love?” There are many ways to answer that question. Here’s one:
When it comes to love, our greatest challenge is to accept it.
This is why your big heart may have been broken times and times again. Because your love was too much for someone to receive. But that’s not all there is to it. The other side of it is – and you may find this challenging – that even if you long to be loved, you aren’t completely open to receive it. Yet. You see…
There is no shortage of love in this world.
It’s just that it doesn’t get to circulate as much as it could. Because we don’t let it. We don’t let it in. For love to flow in your life, you have to open to receive it. And that means…
You have to love yourself first.
Which may lead you to asking: But how? I don’t know how? But that’s not completely true. You know how already.
Because you know how to love another you also know how to love yourself.
It’s not as different as it looks. Not at all. So take a look and ask yourself: “When I was in a state of loving another unconditionally, how did it show?”
- Did your love express itself in the way you listened to your beloved, without judgement? Then start listening to yourself in the same way.
- Did your love express itself in the way you greeted them in the morning and the way you said goodnight in the evening? Then greet yourself in a similar way and wish yourself goodnight in a similar way.
- Did your love express itself in the way you attended to their needs, physical, emotional, mental? Then attend to your needs with the same dedication.
- Did your love express itself in the way you celebrated them with carefully chosen gifts? Then celebrate yourself with equal attention.
Your relationship with yourself is just like any other relationship.
It’s a journey. One of the most important aspects of that journey is to allow yourself to be who you are, without judgement. Here’s a very simple approach, a way to practice a non-judgmental, loving relationship with yourself.