It was a beautiful day. I was on my way home from the beach and everything was simple and perfect. The bright winter sun, the joyful contentment within, the empty street on a Christmas morning.
Well, not completely empty. There was a man coming my way, walking his dog. He wasn’t a stranger (I know the family) – but then again, I think what happened next would have happened even if I knew nothing about him.
As we were passing each other, heading in opposite directions, my mood suddenly changed. So did my thoughts:
“He must be seeing me as this older woman, always walking alone. This is how I look from outside, and always will – the Eleanor Rigby of my little town”.
The thought took me by surprise. Yes, I I do live alone – but I am neither disconnected nor lonely. But then it dawned on me. That it was this old lie again.
In our culture we (most of us anyhow) get a few fundamental lies under our skin before we even turn three years old. Whether we notice it or not, they become an essential part of our personality and our choices.
The biggest lie we’re telling ourselves is that we’re less worthy than everyone else.
We find all kinds of ways to keep this lie alive. We’re telling ourselves all kinds of stories, such as:
“I’m different – it must be because there’s something wrong with me”
I’ve always felt different from my surroundings– starting at age 7 and all the way until meeting a family man and his dog (whereas I am a solo woman with a cat).
While the ways I would, could and did define myself as different have been changing over time, the feeling remains (even if it’s way less than it used to be and even if I can see how absurd it is):
“I am different and that means I am flawed. But I want to be accepted, approved, appreciated by everyone”
This isn’t going to work! It never has.
I want to be me (including all the differences!). I love my life!
It’s time to tell the truth. No, let me rephrase it:
It’s time to live the truth.
It’s time to claim my worthiness – and yours.
It’s time to realize that our unique existence is as valuable as any other.
It’s time for us to shine more.
For someone like me (having a rather introvert type of personality), this is a big challenge. It touches upon a fear as deep as the lie we’ve been telling ourselves:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”
You may have seen the quote above many times before. It’s probably one of the most shared spiritual quotes in newer times. But there’s a difference between knowing it and living it.
Are you willing to take these words to your heart?
Are you willing to step into the world in your own unique way?
Are you willing to be you, as fully as you can, day by day, here and now?